


Owari (The Ends)

by InTheAfterAll



Series: The Ends [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily Feels, Batsex, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Damian Wayne is Robin, Damian is adorable, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, F/M, Roy harper is a love, Sequel, Survival, The Ends, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tim is to smart, Training, i need more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9405005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheAfterAll/pseuds/InTheAfterAll
Summary: It didn't take our heroes. It didn't take our families. It did take my soul. I don't know how to move forward and I can't go back. I survived an apocalypse that never happened.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This. This right here is the sequel to The Ends. You can read it alone. If you choose to know what happened please give The Ends a read.
> 
> Warnings: I will give warnings for every chapter as they come up. Mentions of mental illness. Mentions of PTSD. Delusions. Depression. The would did not end.

Owari (The Ends)

NOW  
New York

The wind up here on the rooftops is warm, not as smothering as the heat on the sidewalks below but still warm. The smog coats the skyline in an eerie haze making visibility up here difficult but I can see the lights approach. I was contacted only a few short minutes ago. They are fast and efficient and prepared but this is my city. I know it like an old friend. I have seen it full of life and color. I have also seen it dead and lifeless. Right now my city is in trouble. I will not watch it die again. I will not allow that to happen. I will not allow the world to end, not this time. This will not be the end. Giving up, surrendering is Never An Option. It can’t be because I am The Ends. The wind blows past carrying the smell of smoke that is billowing upwards in the distance. They are close now and I step off the ledge into free fall. 

My name is Spencer Honda and I survived an apocalypse that never happened. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

THEN  
Gotham

I have read the file I have compiled on her over and over again. Depression, delusions, PTSD. Her parents have taken her to several doctors and therapists over the past few months but her symptoms do not improve. From a clearly medical stand point Spencer Honda is a delusional teenage girl who requires hospitalization and anti psychotic medication. Not that I am a doctor but the only diagnosis I agree with are depression and PTSD. Her medical team believes these conditions are brought on by her delusions but I know they are a product of the events she lived through. 

“Tea Master Bruce.” Alfred interrupts as he places the cup beside me. “What do you plan to do about the girl Sir?”

“There is nothing that I can do Alfred.”

“Sir the both of you are the only ones who remember. You are believed, she is not, and perhaps that is what she needs, to be believed.”

“Though I do not disagree with you there is so much more. She needs to channel her experiences into something productive. That is why she acts out violently, why she is plagued by nightmare and that is why she is lost. I just don’t know what there is that I can do.”

A few months ago I awoke from a dream that was not a dream. I lived through an experience that only myself and one other person remembers. I do not doubt that these events took place but the entirety of the world has no recollection of what occurred. A virus attacked and killed all those who possessed powers leaving the world without its heroes. The Ends as the virus was called then tore through the families, cities, countries of the world at random decimating the population. What followed in the wake of the virus was a violent deconstruction of society. I lost friends and family to both the virus and the aftermath. The cave had been opened to survivors and a community sprung up here that we worked hard to maintain. The residents were mostly survivors from Gotham. Talia Al Ghul and a man named Hamza came to us from The League of Assassins. Spencer and Jackson Honda came in from New York with Roy Harper and they all became valuable members of our community. Though difficult we began to thrive. Friendships were formed and people bonded. Talia and I formed something I had thought was impossible and she worked hard to mend her relationship with Damian. Damian himself had found a bond with the Honda girl. Life was not easy and we faced many challenges and dangers. The Joker attempted to kill us all but we fought as one, together. That year was a horrible nightmare and when I awoke to find that it had never happened I found myself conflicted. Do not misunderstand, I am forever grateful that the world did not come to a crashing end but it was a year of my life, a year that I lived. The things that I experienced are for me, real. They are powerful memories that I share with only one person. A young girl from New York City.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

THEN  
New York

I’m going to get suspended for this. I am certain of it but it is hard for me to really care at this moment with the satisfying crunch of the brute’s nose and the gurgled groan that leaves his friends mouth. One punch and one kick. That is all it takes to drop these two bullies. I am not sure if they are more surprised by the pain or that it was inflicted upon them by a small helpless looking girl. Either way it is of no consequence to me. They had cornered a freshman against the lockers and were touching her inappropriately. I have seen these two do this before. Before The Ends and I did nothing. I hung my head and pretended I didn’t see it but I did see it. It was shameful but no more. I am capable of stopping it and I don’t care about the repercussions. I know it’s the right thing to do and maybe just a little bit of me, ok a lot of me likes the feeling, the release of anger and I have a lot of anger. 

“Honda! Office now!” Mr. Kilby yells as he grabs my blazer and starts ushering me towards the principal’s office for the twelfth time.

On the drive home as I am seated in the passenger seat of my mother’s minivan I take in the crowds walking, the traffic, and the city so alive and full. This is how New York should be, not abandoned and empty and soaked in blood. 

I woke up from a nightmare a few months ago. It was March fourteenth to be exact, one day before my sixteenth birthday. The nightmare was of a world ravaged by a virus that wiped out over half of the world’s population including our superheroes. My brother Jackson and I were the only members of my family to survive. We made our way out of New York and crossed paths with Roy Harper who in my dream was Arsenal, the archer who worked with The Green Arrow in the past. He taught us how to survive and together we made our way to Gotham, to the Batman. There we lived in a community along with other survivors and several of Gotham’s non super powered heroes. We learned skills and became more than I ever thought I possible. Roy became our family. The Bat cave became our home. Damian became… I try not to think about him. We had to defend our home from the infamous villain The Joker but we succeeded. We lived and lost and thrived but I woke up. I woke up in my own bed screaming a boy’s name. A boy I had never met. I tried you know, I tried to shake it off but I couldn’t. There was no logical explanation for why I knew the things I knew. I am strong. I am capable of defending myself and inflicting injury. I have skill with a sword that I did not posses before I had the nightmare. The thing is I am the only one who remembers. My brother who walked beside me for the entire dream year has no recollection of it what so ever. I am alone. Well I was alone until one evening as I was sneaking out for the umpteenth time to put my new skills to some use The Batman landed on my rooftop. Now most people would have been startled and even afraid but when I turned around and saw him watching me it was a relief. I knew he knew. He said my name and I called him by his. Oh not Batman or The Dark Knight but by his name, the one you don’t know. Bruce Wayne.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Gotham

She had been suspended again, the girl. She had been very lucky that the parents of the two boys she had attacked did not press charges. One had a broken nose the other a cracked rib. The school report I was able to get a hold of did not contain much information but I could easily read between the lines. She had stepped in to stop them. I believe this girl is the same girl I knew in that nightmare year and if I am right and I know I am she was doing what she believed to be right. The aggression is a symptom of PTSD as well as the nightmares that plague her. Accessing her medical files was easy enough but I have only managed to have that one brief encounter with her. She has been found on the streets late into the night fighting and endangering herself. She has been looking for something. Trying to find a place where she feels normal but she hasn’t yet. I don’t know if such a place exists. She lived through a horrific ordeal and is now left to fend for herself with no allies. Surround by people who believe her to be delusional and troubled. Alfred is right to some degree. She needs to be believed and right now I am the only person in the entire world who believes her. I have survived my fair share of life altering events and though I perhaps have not handled that baggage properly I at least have others who know, others who will help ‘if I ask’. I have turned my trauma into something. Spencer Honda needs to be believed. She needs an ally. 

“Alfred I need to speak to Headmaster Hammer. Can you get a hold of him for me?”

“Of course sir, Gotham Academy?” He asks curiously.

“Yes. The Wayne Foundation sponsors scholarships there for troubled or at risk youth. I think perhaps I know someone who could benefit from something like that.” I respond. Alfred nods his head with a smile and leaves the room to fetch the number. I lean back in my chair and sigh. I will try to help. I don’t know what I can do for her or even if what I have to offer will help but I will try.

“Hang on Spencer, just a little longer.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

New York

“Absolutely not!”

“Lisa maybe it’s not such a bad idea.”

“Hiro she didn’t even consider asking us before she applied.”

My parents are arguing about the recent letter from the Wayne Foundation that I received in the mail. Apparently I applied through all the proper channels to a summer internship at Wayne Enterprises and then a scholarship to Gotham Academy for troubled and at risk youth. Both programs are positive reinforcement for youth who have behavioral problems and are at risk of hurting themselves or others. On all accounts these programs seem tailor made to help me with my little delusion. Well played Batman.

“Spencer is this… Is this what you want?” My mother asks with tears threatening to spill.

“Mom I don’t know what I want. I, I don’t know how to do…” I look around at our normal apartment, at my normal family. “This. It doesn’t fit. I know, I know I’ve caused you and Dad so much trouble and I really don’t know how to fix it. I don’t want to leave but, but maybe I can fix it. Maybe somewhere else can help. I mean did you see this brochure? That is a serious amount of therapy. College isn’t that far off. I need to fix this my grades and me.”

“But you would be living alone all summer and then a dormitory.” My Mom’s arguments are losing steam.

“An apartment right in The Wayne Enterprises building. I wouldn’t even have to go outside.” I counter.

“Gotham is dangerous.”

“Again, I wouldn’t even have to go outside.”

My Mom moves to sit beside me on the sofa wrapping both her arms around me tight and squeezing. “I don’t want you to go Spencer but if you really think this will help, I’ll support you. I just want you to be happy again. I love you.”

My parents are good people. I have lived a privileged life in Manhattan, the middle child of a doctor and a dentist. I have never wanted for anything until now. It’s not that they can’t provide love and support it’s that I have experienced something that for them never happened. It is beyond what they can offer to help me with. Maybe it is beyond anyone but I think being closer to Bruce Wayne might be easier then it is here. He remembers and that is the one thing no one else can give me. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Gotham

The signal had been up and I spent far too long on that rooftop speaking with Gordon but three new cases had occurred. Children have begun to disappear and as that is a horrifying prospect what keeps both me and the GCPD from a sense of urgency is that they are always found within a two hour duration. The disappearance is reported and an amber alert is sent out. The children have been found wandering usually close to home unharmed. One child actually approached a traffic officer on his own. When questioned they all respond with the same story. They were asleep but awoke suddenly to find themselves elsewhere in their neighborhoods. I have been keeping tabs on these cases but there is simply no evidence on why or how. Dick is now in Gotham to follow this case as it occurred several times in Bludhaven but the occurrences have stopped leaving only questions. 

I linger in the Narrows having intercepted a substantial drug deal. The men are restrained and I decide to return home when I hear the sirens approaching. The police will handle it from here. I am surprised to note that I am looking forward to the Honda girl’s arrival tomorrow. I have made everyone aware of her coming and left a reminder that she would remember them even though they did not know her. Damian is away for awhile and I think that is best. I struggled with how much I should tell everyone especially him and decided it was not my story to tell. I feel responsible for the girl, whether that is irrational or not is of no concern I only hope that having someone near her that knows she is not delusional will help her start to find her footing again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Nothing to warn you about. Alfred is a great cook. Thank you to those who read. commented, kudo'd

Owari (The Ends) 2

Spencer

Updating employee phone numbers is not what I thought this summer internship would be but here I sit with hundreds of papers organizing the data onto the new program. Ms. Summers or Joan to everybody but me is Bruce Wayne’s secretary. She is my supervisor, dictator, all powerful overlord. She runs a tight ship and I follow her orders. I have been here for three weeks and have only seen Bruce twice. The first time was when I arrived. He gave me the tour of his offices and of my ‘small’ apartment. It is supposed to be for the help but it is bigger than the one I share with my family in New York. The last time was last week. He came in late in the afternoon and spoke to me for a short time in his office. It was a polite and somewhat awkward conversation with promises of having a real discussion soon. 

What has kept me calm and relatively ok has been Dr. Thompkins and one of her volunteers Harper who I see twice a week. They at least are someone to talk to but the most surprising new friend I have made is Dick Grayson. I mean I knew him. Well the Dick from the nonexistent year. He has stopped by every other day since I got here and always brings ice capps. I am aware that he knows what occurred to me and Bruce and I think he was more than curious to hear my story but he keeps visiting and I really appreciate it.

“Ahemm Miss Honda.”

“Oh sorry Ms. Summers.” I reply quickly to cover up my wandering mind and resume entering phone numbers.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bruce

I have not spent much time with the Honda girl. I have allowed her to adjust to her new surroundings but will have her to the manor for dinner this evening. Dick has been close by and was curious to meet the girl and in true Grayson form has befriended her. 

I am aware even if she believes I am oblivious to her late night walks. It is not every night but she has left the safety of her apartment and walked the streets. I am not sure if she is looking for danger or release. She has only ran into trouble once and she handled it herself before Duke had to intervene. Leslie wants to continue seeing her. Her ‘delusions’ have not been addressed as of yet but she wants to make Spencer aware that she knows they are true. I have agreed.

I walk into my offices and up to the large reception desk over run with Joan’s potted plants. “How are you Joan?” I ask giving the older woman a wink.

“Absolutely wonderful Mr. Wayne, do you need anything?”

“Actually I was wondering if you could spare Miss Honda for the rest of the afternoon?”

Joan looks over to a startled Spencer and smiles. “Of course sir. I think Miss Honda would really like that.”

“Thank you Joan. Go on up stairs Spencer and change. I’ll be waiting in the car.”

The wind from her hasty retreat is all that was felt as she bolted out of the office.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Spencer

“Hi Alfred.” I say getting into the car. Alfred has been the one to chauffeur me around to my visits with Dr. Thompkins.

“Good Afternoon Miss Honda.”

It is a very quiet and somewhat awkward drive to the manor but the anticipation of seeing the place that I once called home keeps me focused. As the gates came into view I had to fight off waves of déjà vu. Not like the strange forceful episodes of that year but a true lingering memory. 

Stepping inside was surreal. Everything was intact and pristine. For a short moment I questioned my memories and doubted them but I recognized the paneling on the walls. I recognized the pattern in the carpet and I knew just where we were going as I followed Bruce down a hallway and into a study. The grandfather clock was there as it always has been.

Alfred calls out that dinner will be ready shortly as we descend towards the cave. Bruce says nothing as he takes his chair in front of the large screen and dives into whatever it is that he is working on. I linger on the outside of the space unsure of proper edict. Bruce turns with a raised eyebrow towards me and a small rare smile.   
“You have permission to enter the space Spencer.” He says before turning back towards the screen. He pulls up files and closes files as he speaks to me. “I thought you might like to be here, to see it again. You know your way around.”

I am off leaving him to whatever it is he is doing.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bruce

Spencer is wandering around the cave and I feel it will be beneficial for her to do so. She obviously recognized her surroundings and that is validating her memories. Her hesitance at approaching the computer brought a smile to my lips. She is still following rules and protocol set in place during our ‘year’.

I look quickly for any new leads in the missing children cases and find new mysteries. Last night there were two children reported missing from their homes and then found a few short hours later with no memory but they were older and both female. The usual occurrences are a male and a female child between the ages of six and eight but last night it was two fourteen year old girls. The young women are safe and uninjured. I sigh heavily at the new information and get up from my seat to find Spencer. 

It doesn’t take me long. She is in the weight room. She has pushed a bench to the side and lies on the floor staring at the finished ceiling of what had once been her bunk.

“There is a water stain on the ceiling that looks just like a duck. Did you know that?” She laughs quietly. “I know that, I knew that.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Spencer

Dinner was beyond delicious. I am not much of a cook so I have been struggling with my meals but this has made up for the past few weeks of subpar cuisine and I made sure Alfred knew just how much I appreciated it. Now I have been given the green light to wander around the manor as I wish keeping Bruce’s and Alfred’s personal space in mind. It is all familiar as I stroll through hallways and into rooms I have seen before. The furniture is intact and the electronics are still there and that is one hell of a large television perched on the wall of one of the many family rooms I have walked by. I enter in looking at the luxurious room but I am stalled mid step. My heart rate picks up as I continue in picking up the small framed photograph on the table. 

Dick is smiling widely back at me with his arm wrapped around a scowling Damian. I have not seen his face since I woke up. I try very hard to not think about him but I usually fail. I put the picture back down on the table with trembling hands and move out into the hallway. I told myself I would not go there but my feet are carrying me there none the less. 

The library smells of old paper and dust. Exactly how I remember it. I sit on the sofa and fidget with the throw blanket that still lies across the back absentmindedly. I close my eyes and I can see him. Blue eyes. My chest tightens impossibly around my heart and the air is knocked out of my lungs.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bruce

I found her sitting on the sofa in the library knees curled up staring ahead at memories. I did not question her. I will have her here again soon and we will discuss what it is she needs to move forward. Alfred is taking her back to her apartment and I am toying with the idea of sending her to the country for a short time, sending her to a new place that is not full of memories. I will have to consider this more thoroughly and ask Leslie about it. 

It is surprising how comforting for me it is to have Spencer here. She validates my experiences. I only hope to validate hers. Right now she is lost and I am trying to find her.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Spencer

Dick texted me at lunch telling me not to make any plans for dinner because we were going out for burgers and shakes. He apparently has a surprise for me. At first I wanted to refuse his offer. Last night at the manor was harder than I expected. The nightmares that followed kept me from sleep but Dick is a proverbial ray of sunshine and I could use a little light right now. 

As soon as I see him he put a smile on my face. He was waiting outside for me leaning against a very fast looking bike holding a helmet out in my direction. 

The adrenalin running through me after weaving in and out of traffic was fantastic. 

Dick took the helmet from me and laughed. “Adrenalin junkie.” He teased. We walked into the diner where according to Dick they had the best milk shakes on the east coast and he leaned down smiling to speak quietly into my ear. “Now about that surprise.

I followed the direction of his gaze to the booth at the very back of the diner. My breath caught in my throat and it hitched slightly before I could utter a word. 

“Roy!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some violence and PTSD symptoms again nothing over the top. Also sad feels.
> 
> Short chapter is short. It just happened that way. Thanks to those who read and commented. I am very thankful.

Owari (The Ends) 3

Spencer

“I’m sorry.” Roy says not able to look me in the eye. “But there is no way I got shot by some random post apocalyptic thug, you made that part up.”

I cannot help but laugh loud and joyful. Roy is Roy. He doesn’t remember me that is a very obvious fact but he listened to my tale and believes me. I may be wrong but maybe he is proud of me even though he doesn’t recall the ‘year’. 

“You kid, I like you.” He says with a very flirtatious, very Roy wink. I shake my head and smile.

The surprise could not have gone better. We spent far too long in the diner and I drank one too many vanilla milkshakes but I have not felt so normal in a very long time. Roy is living in New York right now with the Titans but will drive down to Gotham to visit again as well as catching me when I visit my parents. I love Roy Harper he is the same a constant, family.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bruce

“Well?” I ask nervously.

“It went exactly how I told you it would go. Roy’s a good guy and he immediately took a liking to Spencer.” Dick answers. He had suggested this when the girl first arrived but I didn’t think it wise. He persisted and I finally agreed to his idea. I am glad I did. “Ok spill.” Dick says cutting right to the chase of my urgent summoning.

“I want you to take a look at these.” I pull up the photos I wanted to show him on the screen and I watch him realize what I had been thinking.

“Who are they?” He asks with trepidation. 

“Sara Tanaka age 15. Madison Cameron age 17, and Risa Wantanabe age 16. All three were taken last night and found wandering uninjured a few hours later. They have no memory of what happened.”

“That is a small bit disturbing. I mean all three of them resemble each other in age, wardrobe and appearance.” Dick mutters.

“What you mean to say is they all resemble Spencer.” I interrupt.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Spencer

It’s been two weeks since I re met Roy and I think I am finally getting a grip on this reality thing. The ‘year’ still existed I will never say it didn’t but I can actually put a foot down here in this year. Whether or not it is out of a misguided sense of responsibility he texts every day. I appreciate it more than he can possibly know. 

“Spencer get your face out of your phone and let’s go.”

I look up to find Duke with his arms crossed tapping his foot. “I just walked out the door like 4 seconds ago.” He smiles and walks around to get in the car. Duke is easy to be around. He wasn’t there. I didn’t know him. I don’t have any memories tying him to me or the others. He is just Duke. I secretly think he likes the idea that by having me around he isn’t the new kid anymore. 

I have been going to the manor every other evening and once a week to Dr. Thompkins. It’s a busy schedule but busy is good. It keeps me out of trouble which is something that I have gotten really good at finding. I get to use the training room in the cave to relieve ‘my aggression’ and Duke lets me beat on him. Ok it’s more like a sparring match that he is obviously in control of but I can talk a big game. Eye of the tiger and all. I thought The Batman would train me, I honestly did but I was wrong. He has no intention of it. Well it’s not like I asked but other than the odd dinner or short conversation Bruce and I hardly see each other. He arranges everything from my work schedule to who picks me up and drives me around but no real interaction. Am I disappointed? Maybe a little but coming to Gotham has been the right decision. I am ok.

Bruce is at the computer and I know better than to disturb him. Duke is with him for the fore see-able future at least so I am left to my own devices. I stay out of the way and head to the training room. 

The wooden sword is smooth in my hand, the weight familiar. I have used it before. I unzip my hoodie and toss it to the floor as a small pang of memory grips me. I shake it off and move to the center of the room. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, in through the nose, out through the mouth. I move the sword an extension of myself. Each motion, each step has been relentlessly drilled into me. I imagine another sword and counter as I was taught. I drive forward and defend. Sweat trickles down my back as I work, as I focus on my imaginary enemy. 

My back is pressed against the wall before I register that it is. My eyes are squeezed shut at the impact. I open my mouth to pull back in the air that had just been knocked out of me and snap my eyes open.

“Who trained you?” The question is asked in an angry hiss.

I can’t form words, fear, anger, sadness, love storm inside my chest threatening to devour me.

“Your Mother.” I manage to whisper.

He looks at me with those intense eyes but there is no recognition behind them. I never wanted to see that. I wanted to pretend that he would know me but I knew. I knew.

“Damian!” I hear Batman’s deep gravelly voice say.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bruce

“You did not tell me that she had League training. In fact you have told me nothing other than you and a girl had been caught in a time shift or parallel and that she would be in Gotham.” Damian says angrily. It is true. I have told him nothing of that year. I didn’t know how.

I had sent Spencer home two hours ago and have actively avoided my son in an attempt to discern what it is that I would say to him. He was not due home till next week but had settled his business early and arrived today. It’s time, this conversation must happen.

“Your Mother trained her and several others in that, let’s call it a parallel. Spencer was the only one she taught the sword. Talia was not fond of her.”

Damian seemed to take a moment to digest the information. “Mother was here?” He shakes his head slightly in surprise before continuing. “If Mother did not like the girl than why would she teach her anything at all?” His question is valid.

“She felt obligated so that Spencer would become worthy of you.” I answer.

“Of me?” I can see the implication register slowly on his features. “Tt.”

“Sorry to interrupt but Nightwing just called in. She managed to slip out and away.” Duke says quickly.

“Dammit.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Spencer

I walk. I had stopped sneaking out, stopped looking for trouble but now it doesn’t matter. I don’t cry. I want to but I refuse to be weak. My memories my feelings I had begun to accept them but I received a cold hard slap in the face. I remember that if I live in that world my family would be dead. Everyone I had ever known would have met a horrific end. If I live in this world the people I grew to care about to love will not know me. I am a stranger. I can’t live in either world. He doesn’t know me. The anger he looked at me with stabbed deep in my gut. I knew he wouldn’t know me. I tried not to think about him at all but when I gave in and allowed the memory of his face to slip across my mind’s eye I fantasized that he would. Somehow he would remember me. It was stupid and I knew better.

“Mmmm hey, you all alone?”

I stop as the small creepy man steps towards me. He moves closer and I step back. He continues his slow approach pushing me into the narrow alley. He is smirking dangerously as I cower into the darkness. Gotham is dangerous it’s the perfect place for trouble and the perfect place for me to be. It’s dark and dangerous and lonely. Perfect.

“I like you.” He says and I smile.

My foot connects to the underside of his jaw knocking him backwards onto his back. I am on him in a heartbeat. The skin on my knuckles split as I punch and the physical pain is a relief. I can hurt him, I can hurt me. My muscles scream as I pound on him in a fury. I can smell his blood. I am so angry and I don’t know how to make it stop. I can’t stop.

“Spencer! Enough!” I am lifted up and off of the dirty little man and my body loosens the spell broken. I know it is Dick or’ Nightwing’ who holds me tight against his chest. He followed me when I left my apartment but I thought I had lost him. He slowly lowers me to the ground and turns me around to face him. I meet his gaze with no expression. I don’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes but there it is. I have no idea what I am doing. I thought I was getting a grip but I’m still drifting, lost.

“Spencer.” My body goes rigid at the deep voice. Batman emerges out of the shadows towering over me. “What have you done?”


End file.
